Four days ago, a person I connected with recently on social media wrote back to me and mentioned checking out two names - Tony Timpa and Daniel Shaver. It was after I had shared my recent blog post - EVERY SINGLE BREATH MATTERS. So I did. I almost wish I didn't do so. Within a few minutes, my stomach and liver were turned upside down again, after I had managed to calm them down a bit the night before. Anxiety rising in my body. Fear. Anger. Outrage. Pain. Sadness. I was feeling all these feelings all over again.
Brutality is so out of control. People who are supposed to be protectors inflict pain and even murder others.
Where is our humanity? Why do we allow this to happen? Why do we teach to use force instead of tolerance and kindness? Why do we put one color above others? Do we believe the world would look and be better with one color? Imagine that, looking at something and seeing only one color (not even the non-colors). How awful, horrifying, and bland would life be like in that way?
You may be thinking (as I used to as well), 'I don't do that. I'm not complicit,' but is that true? You say you're not a racist. But are you anti-racist? Because if you're not, the things you claim you care so much about, but do nothing to protect them, will disappear, more precisely, they will be exterminated and become extinct. Is that the kind of world you and future generations want to live in?
Fear is such a powerful tool. We can use it to do good, or to make horrific things happen.
People in positions of power, who are supposed to be our protectors, don't do their jobs right. And WE put them in power. Every single one of us. With our silence, our ignorance, our actions. Now, please, don't get me wrong. Not all people fail at doing their jobs. Not all people fail at being human. But many do. Probably, to be completely fair, all of us fail at some point in our lives, in a small degree or another, until we educate ourselves to do better, until we take a hard look at ourselves and realize there might be things we don't like so much at our behavior and we should do something about it. I have seen it many times. The problem, in my opinion, is when we notice these things and chose to do nothing about them and just let them be.
I have seen people failing at doing their jobs, over and over again, and it is disheartening and heart-wrenching, especially when those actions have the power to affect so many of us, at such a large scale, many times with irredeemable consequences.
I have witnessed it last year when I went to see a close family member in the hospital.
I have watched it happen recently on video with George Floyd when his air was slowly and methodically taken away. Second by second, after he voiced, for several minutes, numerous pleas for his vital need to breathe.
I have seen it previously, a few years ago, again on video, in the case of Eric Garner.
I have heard it live on a few occasions. One time in particular I remember it, as I was gathered with some people to catch up and someone displayed racism and that person wasn't even thinking that was racism.
I have heard it, maybe for the first time in my life, when I came to the UK, in my first year of university. I was having dinner with a lady I was staying at and her brother was present. He asked me where I'm from and when I said Romania, his reply was something along the lines, 'Oh, so you're a Gypsy. You're dirty and steal. I thought Gypsies are black, dark-skinned. You're white.' You can maybe imagine my anger. Only the fact that his sister was nice stopped me from telling him exactly what I thought he was. I refrained instead and made him aware that not all Romanians are Gypsies, and even if we were, not all Gypsies are dirty and steal. My cheeks were burning. Of both anger and shame. Shame because I am aware that people who share my nationality do bad things sometimes. Anger because this man had the audacity to think and voice that we are all the same.
I think it was the only instance when I was ever made to feel in this way, the only time I still strongly remember today, so many years later. Now imagine how a black person must feel daily. That going jogging in the neighborhood might mean you'll get shot and killed, so you go out holding your niece's hand, and a fluffy dog on a leash, to look less threatening. For the simple fact that you're tall and black. Imagine that someone takes a look at you on the subway and feels instantly threatened simply because of your skin color.
Imagine that a police officer stops you and you are anxious to make any sudden movements because that might again mean you'll get arrested at the best, killed at the worst (take, as a concrete example, the case of Daniel Shaver, mentioned above). I can only imagine, but it must feel awful to be living like that daily. And yet people do. They get used to it. Because they have to to survive.
Imagine you're someone who suffers from schizophrenia, has taken some drugs and you've become scared because you're not feeling so well. Imagine you call emergency services or police officers to help you and when they arrive, they mock you, handcuff you, kneel on your back and you end up dead. And they are not held accountable for taking a life and also damaging others (take again, as a concrete example, the case of Tony Timpa, also already mentioned above).
And now imagine you're alone in this world, as some might be, or at least feel that way, because not everyone has a family who loves them and thinks that individual didn't deserve to suffer or die under the power used and abused by someone - as if that's how life should be measured and considered to be worth something in a just society. Imagine you're alone in this world and your pain goes unnoticed, and the people who cause it go unpunished and living on their life as if they did absolutely nothing wrong.
And the list can unfortunately continue.
Imagine those are the people who are supposed to protect you. Some people don't have to imagine these scenarios - they witness them, over and over and over again.
And some people wonder how come we have a broken society, how come there are mass shootings, how come there are buildings burning down and violence taking over the streets. How come, I wonder, too. How come some don't understand it, this grave situation we're all in. We are sharing the same planet, the same air. But some seem to forget this very important fact.
When police officers are trained to kneel on someone's back, taking the person's breath away; when some police officers choose to use force and firearms instead of common sense to detain or arrest someone, if so really needs to be the case.
When homelessness could be abolished, yet more funds go to violent purposes instead and people are left in despair on the streets.
When our freedom of speech is taken away from us and people who expose the wrongdoings and unlawful actions of others are arrested, tortured, and, in some cases, maybe even killed.
When all these things happen, and we let them happen, how can we expect the world to be a better place? We desire to go on the Moon and discover other civilizations. But why? Why do that when we aren't even respectful and considerate of our neighbors? What need could the Moon and other beings possibly have for us, other than use us as compost, maybe?
Bad people are not born (unless maybe in a very few cases, and even those are highly questionable). Bad people are made.
Where is our humanity? Has it all been engulfed and swallowed by pride, or is there something good left? I know for sure there is. But what do we do to salvage it and not let it perish forever? What do we do to make it thrive?
Let's remember the name GEORGE FLOYD - remembering all of them would probably be impossible. But let's remember at least one name. Not because tomorrow what happened to him could happen to you, or me. Let's remember his name because it is right to do so. Because if we remember his name there is still hope.
And for those who still don't get it why BLACK LIVES MATTER should come first before ALL LIVES MATTER, please let's all inform and educate ourselves. For example, we can watch this brief clip in which Ashton Kutcher talks about educating his kids (not just on this particular matter, but on another very important topic - that of gender discrimination). I think he articulated that briefly and in a simple way for everyone to understand, that is if we truly want to understand.
And yes, I am aware not just black people are discriminated. Native Americans, too. Gypsies. Polish. Romanians. Bulgarians. Chinese. Russians. Americans, too. Wherever we may be in the world, wherever we may come from, however we may look like, some sort of discrimination might occur - I am well aware of that. But let's address the house that's currently on fire, as Cara Ricketts posted about it (please see the photo here). Let's address the cases that are most blatantly brutal right now. Doing so will only raise the bar and help everyone else who is being discriminated and punished for something they had no control over, for a life they were simply given.
Some say we are all the same. No, we are not, I don't believe so. Some are born in better, or worse conditions than others. Physical, mental, social, geographical - we are all different because of those elements. But we should all be equal in front of the law and that should apply for all of us in the same way.
It is nice to see people from all walks of life joining in this plea for justice. It is especially great to see police officers taking a knee in support of the protesters, instead of using violence. I would like to see more of these peaceful and respectful actions because I believe most of them are doing their job well. I would like to see how they are holding their colleagues accountable for the wrongdoings. Only this way we can build a better world. Until then, words are words, and simple gestures are just that: gestures. How can you and I rest easy when a life was methodically taken away and yet the people who did it are not punished for it accordingly, furthermore, it seems to be a difficult process to do so? How is that possible? How is that right in any just world? Do we want to set wrong examples? Do we want these things to happen again?
We have such a long way to go to make the world a better place. But we must start somewhere. And I think peaceful actions and showings of kindness and support for people who are constantly discriminated, for one wrong reason or another, are a step in the right direction, for less pain and injustice to take place in the world.
Take care,
Crina-Ludmila Cristea.
